A Flame Rekindled from the Ashes
Hi, I’m Vin!
Thank you, new friend, for coming to my blog. I hope you enjoy today’s content and find inspiration and joy as you read.
It’s been a while and I’m sorry!
I had to take this long-needed sabbatical from writing to get my mentality in the right place. Whether it was my passions lying elsewhere, speed bumps in my personal journey, or battles with demons of doubt from both within and beyond, I spent these two months ensuring I returned to where I used to be.
Looking back, this was an episode in my journey that I needed to face. It blessed me with a new perspective.
Persevering Through Suffering—From an Author’s Perspective
It was one of those episodes where I couldn’t even numb the pain with writing.
My corporate career faced a brief scare. Certain relationships were falling apart. A vacation in Paris wasn’t as fruitful as I had hoped it to be. Many more personal things kept battering me from both flanks. I had a moment of doubt with my spiritual walk and lost my drive to evangelize.
These were serious hindrances for me in my writing journey, almost making me want to quit writing and focusing on patching my wounds. Fortunately, I healed faster than expected—but not without a fight.
When I’m surrounded by darkness, I’m left with my imagination. When I explored the deep thoughts in my mind, I navigate the torment of everything that went wrong. When I faced adversity, I was met with my ultimate demon: doubt.
I wondered at that moment: if my last day was tomorrow, would my last thoughts linger on my regret of not accomplishing everything that I wanted? No published book? No way of estimating if I made the world a better place?
Whether you identify as religious or not, I’d like to share words of wisdom from Paul the Apostle from the Book of Romans, Chapter 5.
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Paul’s words stayed with me and helped guide the next chapter of my recovery. Keep this wisdom in mind as we move into the next part.
2. Conquering Your Pain and Converting
It all worked out in the end.
Towards the end of my two month battle, an elder at church asked me a question, “should doubt really hinder your self-worth?” It’s a question I’ve pondered on for a while, and I responded by seeking. I persevered and sought the answers I long needed, including my senses of faith and hope.
Doubt struck me down. I had burned out and got buried in a pit of ashes. Yet through these trials, I responded by embarking on a journey I didn’t think I needed—researching my purpose through self-discovery.
I deconstructed everything I knew and put it back together. I even analyzed my manuscript countless times in this period, understanding the journeys that my two heroes faced in a broken Los Angeles, particularly through Zain’s eyes as he realized that everything he knew through his painful childhood was a lie.
But I wasn’t seeking a lie. I found truth, and my faith and hope were both restored. In a way, Zain’s story, once you finish my upcoming book, will reflect a piece of me that I endured through this episode I went through.
I can firmly say that from these ashes that buried me, I emerged like a phoenix. As it stands, I am still battling my basilisk, but the fires on my wings burn brighter than ever as I fight—and win—the battles before me.
3. Making Lemonade Out of Lemons? A Cliche Trope That Still Stands
A header like that seems wild after I had this moment of vulnerability. But… I couldn’t think of this any other way!
This will likely not be the last time I face two months of incredible hardship, but I think that’s quite alright. I’m equipped with a new pair of tools from this hiccup on the road to prepare me for another potential episode.
From my favorite anime, YuYu Hakusho, I think of the lyrics to the opening song that resonate with me strongly:
A perfect summary to this most recent journey.
In this case, the elder from church, was that stranger. She is now within my closest circle and I credit so much to her and the kindness of others for rebuilding my faith and hope.
In my endeavors to evangelize, in working my way up the corporate ladder, in building my brand as an author, and in writing my novel, I hope to reflect this same sense of hope in all that I do.
Until next time! :)
V.A.L
